🎧 Listen to the full conversation from The Fresh Start with Darren Chapman below.
If you’ve ever looked at another Christian couple and thought, “Wow… they seem to have this whole praying together thing sorted,” you’re definitely not alone.
For a lot of couples, praying together feels awkward, vulnerable… and honestly? Sometimes a bit weird.
“We avoided it for years”
Darren admitted that even in his own marriage, praying together didn’t come naturally.
“We tried it once and I was like, ‘This is odd. This is bizarre.’”
In fact, he said they avoided it for years because it felt uncomfortable.
Praying out loud with your spouse can feel incredibly vulnerable. You can’t hide behind fancy words or ‘church language’ when the person listening knows you better than anyone else.
Different backgrounds, different expectations
One of the biggest challenges couples face is simply coming from different spiritual experiences.
Chloe shared that she grew up watching her parents pray together every morning for half an hour. But when you marry someone with a totally different background, suddenly expectations collide.
That doesn’t mean either person is wrong. It just means you’re building something new together.
Start small. Really small.
One of the biggest encouragements from the conversation was this:
You do not need to become ‘super spiritual’ overnight.
Maybe it’s:
• A quick prayer before sleep
• Praying when something stressful happens
• Thanking God together after dinner
• Praying in the car
• Taking 30 seconds before a hard conversation
The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is connection.
“Embrace the awkward”
One of the best lines from the interview came from Darren’s wife:
“Embrace the awkward.”
Because awkward doesn’t last forever. Like any new habit in marriage, it feels unfamiliar before it feels natural.
What if one person wants it more than the other?
Sometimes one spouse is eager to pray together while the other feels hesitant, uncomfortable or uninterested.
Darren’s advice?
Don’t pressure. Don’t guilt-trip. Start with conversation.
And if your spouse isn’t ready yet: Pray for them, not at them.
Prayer isn’t about ticking a box
Prayer together isn’t about earning ‘good Christian couple’ status.
It’s an invitation to:
• be vulnerable
• slow down
• support each other
• bring worries to God together
• create unity
Prayer changes the atmosphere of a relationship because it softens hearts, builds empathy and reminds couples they’re not carrying life alone.
Maybe this is your permission slip
If praying together has felt intimidating, awkward or inconsistent in your marriage, maybe this is your reminder that you’re not failing.
You don’t have to force someone else’s rhythm onto your relationship.
You can start with one honest conversation.
One simple prayer.
One small moment.
And awkward beginnings often become meaningful habits over time.